Alone
by Monchy
Summary: Anakin knows Obiwan will come back, because he always does. Implied Obi Ani slash.


Well, I think this is the most angsty piece I've ever written... and it hurt (ouch). I hope you like this.

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**Alone**

Obi-wan left in a rainy day and, when you woke up to find yourself in an empty and cold bed, you couldn't stop thinking how melodramatic the situation was. You got out of bed with no energy, ignoring the thought that told you to stay between the sheets, and you noticed that Obi-wan hadn't taken his things. He would be back soon, he always was.

You watched the raindrops crash against the windows for a long time and, finally, you went out to the balcony and got under the rain, feeling the water soak your clothes fast. Later, you fell kneeling to the floor and cried. You cried because every time Obi-wan leaves you do it, because even when you know that he is coming back, because he always does, it hurts to be apart from him.

Finally, you went back inside and sited to wait, conscious that Obi-wan would lecture you for messing the couch with your wet clothes. You cried a little more while holding a cushion and you let time pass with your eyes fixated on the door, expecting Obi-wan to appear any moment.

When the night started falling, you realised you had forgot about eating, but you didn't care, because you were waiting for Obi-wan. Maybe he won't be back today, you thought when you noticed the black sky, maybe he needs more time, more space. Still holding the cushion, you fell asleep on the couch with your wet clothes.

You awoke with the sun, hungry and sore because of the uncomfortable position you had taken to sleep. Obi-wan hadn't returned, but he would, he always did. You stood up, feeling your members complain and went to the window; it was still raining. You sited on the floor and put your eyes on the raindrops, hearing the continuous sound of their fall.

Obi-wan wasn't coming back yet, but he would. You two always fight, and sometimes he leaves. Other times you're the one that goes away, and the days you are apart are always sad ones, but you need time to calm down, to not say things you don't want to say, to remember yourselves how painful is every second when you're apart.

For a second, you wondered what did you do with your time before Obi-wan, but then you remember that there is no before Obi-wan. Of course, there were the days in Tatooine, but since he entered your life, all your time has been reduced to being with him, your master, your friend, your lover. You felt tears coming back, and you decided to look for one of those old books Obi-wan collects – relics, he calls them – and you ended up sitting on the floor, hugging and old edition of something called "The portrait of Dorian Gray", and moving from side to side in an erratic rhythm.

He will come back, he always does.

That night, when Obi-wan hadn't come back, you dragged yourself to the bed. You huddled in your side and hugged the sheets, trembling of cold and expecting Obi-wan to appear in the middle of the night and hold you. If he showed up right now you would be tempted to yell at him, but you know you would just kiss him, cry and sleep between his arms. Then you two would wake up together and make love slowly until you decided to get something to eat. And you would be happy. Because you are happy. There is fighting and moments in which you wish you didn't know him, but the good moments are always more than the bad ones, and you are happy.

The sun caressed your face again, and Obi-wan hadn't returned yet. Your body fought to stay in bed, but you had to eat something, drink something, do something so when Obi-wan comes back he doesn't see the mess you are without him. You got up and, while you took a glass out of the cupboard you started crying, because you needed him to return. The glass sliped between your fingers and broke when it reached the floor, spilling the water it had in. You tried to pick it up, but you just managed to cut your hand. You started to choke on your own tears and your vision was too blurry for you to fix anything, so you sited on the floor, hugged your own knees and cried. You cried and cried because you knew he was coming back but it hurt not having him now.

Hours later, still on the floor, your heard steps in the room, but you didn't look, because you didn't feel capable. Besides, the steps were too light to be Obi-wan's, and you didn't want to see anybody else.

"Ani," Padme's sweet voice echoed in the room and, when you lifted your face, you saw her beautiful eyes filled with worry, "oh, Ani," she ran towards you and, not erasing her expression, put a wet cloth on the wound of your hand, although it had stopped bleeding. You didn't care, because you coudln't feel the pain, or the tears falling down your face, all you knew is that Obi-wan hadn't returned yet, but that he would, because he always does, "Ani…" Padme caressed your face softly and for the first time your felt your own scruffy beard.

"I'm a mess," you articulated, "I should shave, because when Obi-wan comes back he will lecture me, you know how he hates when I let go of this things."

"Oh, Ani," Padme took your face between her small hands and tried to make you look at her, but your eyes kept wandering to other places, because you just wanted to look at Obi-wan's eyes, "Obi-wan is not coming back."

"Of course he is coming back, he always does," for a few seconds, Padme's affirmation felt true at some level, but you threw it away quickly. Obi-wan would come back today probably, "he always does," you repeated.

"Ani, look at my eyes," you avoided her gaze, but she took her hands to your shoulders and shaked you a little, "look at my eyes," her tone went from severity to worry in a second, and you couldn't help but moving your eyes to hers, "Obi-wan is not coming back."

"He will, Padme, he always does, he always comes back."

"Anakin! Obi-wan is not coming back," you tried to talk but Padme put her hand on top of your mouth and made you shut up. Her eyes were slightly teary while her other hand moved to your chest, "Obi-wan is dead Anakin, you have to move on, he is not coming back."

"No!" the scream was involuntary, but it gave you the energy you needed to get up and face the wall, "Obi-wan always comes back."

"Ani, please," Padme's voice sounded agitated, but you justed want her to go away, because you didn't want her here when Obi-wan came back, "Obi-wan will always be with you, but he is not coming back."

"Leave, please."

"Ani, he is n–"

"Leave," you didn't want to yell, you hate yelling at Padme, but you knew that Obi-wan was coming back, because he always does, and you knew you are going to argue and one of you will leave again, but you will always come back, because he loves you and you love him and you are happy and he was coming back.

"Alright, Ani, I will come back tomorrow," you felt her leave the room and you nodded, because when she came back tomorrow, Obi-wan would be there.

You stayed an indefinite time in the same position until tiredness beated you and you slid to the floor. You started crying again, because even if Obi-wan had to come back, you knew he was not going to because he couldn't. Still, you repeated yourself that he would, today probably, and you stayed there, crying, and alone.


End file.
